Friday, December 9

My Favorite Place

I'll admit it. I've always had a slight problem with keeping up with the Jones' and wishing for the next thing.  I'm not sure why I do that, but I do.

Out of my friends group I most definitely am not at the high end of the spectrum.  We probably have one of the smallest homes, less nice cars, and go on way less vacations than my friends.  Neither of our jobs really allow us to 'move up' very far or have dreams of making lots of money to let me stay home or put our kids in private schools.  And sometimes that gets to me. Honestly. We have more than a lot of people,I know, just maybe not in my circle of friends. But last week when we were on our date night at the UK game, Brian and I had one of the most real conversations we've had in a while.

He asked me what I wanted from him for Christmas, and I about broke down and cried right there in the busy Civic Center.  I told him, never in my life, have I felt so content as I do right now. 

When I was single, I wanted to be married or dating someone so badly.  When I was living in my apartment, I wanted to have a home. Once we were dating, I wanted to be engaged.  Engagement turned into to just wanting to be married.  My parents have always told me to just slow down and appreciate the now (since I was younger) but I just always had this feeling of wanting things to hurry up or wanting something someone else had. Wishing I could have a nice home like them or take better trips, etc.

And although I love my husband more than anything and I love my family more than anything, nothing made me feel totally content until now.  This is definitely not to say that you have to have a kid to feel content. Because believe me, I never thought it would make me feel this way. Ever. I'm just not usually like that.  But something inside me just finally feels like everything is ok. Great even. 

So when Brian asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him that for the first time in my life, I feel totally content with life.  I'm truly happy for all that my friends have because I am happy with the life I have.  Its hard to explain that type of feeling, because I've never felt that way before.  I just feel happy and content. I'm not wishing for anything or wishing for something else.  I'm just living in the moment and appreciating every day more than I ever have.  I appreciate family and friends who make the effort to come see Harper and me.  I appreciate the moments I have with Harper by ourselves and the times we have with Brian as a family. Going out to eat or staying in and doing bathtime is some of the joyous times I look forward to. I just appreciate and am happy where I am and what I have.  There was more to the conversation, but I'll keep the rest to us. :)

I'm just glad God didn't give up on me and that I, too, appreciate Him more than I ever have as well. It's a strange feeling for me to just feel so ok with everything. Not want or wish I had what someone else has. But I think it's part of my whole personality change that is happening within me right now.  I wish that I could say that I am content just with what God has and has not given me. Maybe Harper is His way of helping me find contentment? I don't know. I hate to say that 'another person' makes me feel content other than God. But, I'm feeling that way. Does that make me a bad person? I'm not sure what to make of it...

Harper will probably never know how she's making her Momma into a stronger and better person...

So, my favorite place, is at home...usually in the rocking chair in Harper's room, looking around while singing Jesus Love Me to her.

10 comments:

  1. That's awesome, Megan. I am that girl too. Except not the content one yet. I'm always waiting for the next thing and doing all I can to be patient and live in the moment. We just got married and now I'm on a mission for us to get a house and get one NOW lol. (Realistically we still have a few years). It's hard to wait. I always tell Matt that I feel like when we have a house and a baby I'll feel complete. Glad to hear that is how it worked for you :)

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  2. That is so awesome, Megan! I know what you mean - suddenly, nothing in life seems quite as important as Jade. I would trade every Christmas present in the world for her. :)

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  3. I feel the same way! My little girl makes me so happy!

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  4. This is so sweet. It made my heart melt. I look forward to one day having children.

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  5. I am so very happy for you :)
    Love and miss you TONS

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  6. This is such a sweet and special post. There is nothing better than feeling content in our lives and being surrounded by love from our family. I am so happy for you!

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  7. I totally understand the feeling. I was that girl too and can find myself going back to that at times, but then the times like this morning with all of our kiddos on our bed and all of us in our jammies and my heart just smiled- I was content and in love with our life and all its blessings. Great post Megan.

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  8. Oh girl, I have been that girl too! I have SUCH peace and love in my life and have for several years with my family! I love how simple life is when you just LIVE in the moment. It truly is a gift from God. By the way, those Joneses have MORE stress, anguish and fear than you would ever want to put your precious family through. You never know it until you have that VERY sad coffee break, lunch, dinner, etc. with your dear friend down the road that tells you what hard times their family is going through. It's heartbreaking! That's the difference between living in the $ spend life and living in the grace of God to your family. Wise choice, sis! Very wise!

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  10. There are various types of Newborn clothing available in the market, ranging from vibrant colors and different sizes to brands and textures. The best way to buy newborn clothing is to take help of a friend or family that have already been a mother and are experienced in parenting. They can surely be a guidebook for you with her experience.

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Thanks for taking the time to comment! I love hearing positive comments from you!

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