Pigtails & Pacifiers {guest post!}

Hi friends! With the start of school and trying to get back to a routine of being a working Momma, I've had a few friends offer to blog post for me! I must tell you, these posts are so fun and I love the perspective they are bringing to Blissfully Burton!

Harper, Brian, and I will be back soon to share in all that we've been doing; but for now, read a little bit about Brandi from Pigtails & Pacifiers on Parenting Styles!  Make sure to check out her blog, too!

As for Brandi's readers - thanks for hopping over here...sit and stay a while! :)

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Hello Blissful Burton Readers! I’m so excited to be posting for Megan while she gets readjusted to school starting and balancing the at home life, especially with Miss Harper on the move! I’m Brandi from over at Pigtails & Pacifiers, mommy to Brooklyn Grace & (trophy) wife to Stephen.

I thought long and hard about what to write about today, the choices were massive, but I finally decided on the topic of Parenting Styles.

My parenting style is what I guess one would consider attachment style, like bordering on being the crunchy granola type. We baby wear, breast feed, cloth diaper, *still* room share, and actually {gasp} just weaned Brooklyn of the swaddle. Now I know that my style is not what is best for everyone, it just so happens to be right for us. I have to admit though, I never saw myself parenting this way. I grew up in Dallas, and was a card carrying member of big hair, high heels, shopaholic, and fiercely independent woman club. Even once I moved to Virginia and fell in love with my husband, we loved being a dual income no child household. We vacationed all the time, enjoyed fancy dinners, and frequented our area’s night life. I remember cringing when babies would cry and interrupt our dinner, now I’m the mom with my baby strapped to my chest in the Bjorne at all our summer festivals (still wearing my heels though). I worked as a nanny for 4 years, I always envisioned myself going back to work, yet here I am taking a year off from teaching to be home with this sassy face.

I can honestly say I NEVER imagined myself cloth diapering, I thought “Why would anyone put themselves through that extra trouble? Disposables are so easy!” Yet again, here I am making monthly trips to the Diaper Junction to try out new styles. If you’re interested in hearing more about this journey here is my post on it. People always say never say never, and holy cow am I one prime example of this! I never thought that parenthood would take me the places that it has, but I have truly loved every second of it. And one day, when I get my room back, I’ll finally have the space to reflect back & enjoy it all :0)

Xoxo,

Brandi

I'm Nervous and Conflicted.

Really, this is a post for me. Could be boring - may not want to read.


I'm so conflicted at the moment with my feelings.  I have so many emotions running around my head, I am not sure how to really feel with the school year just around the corner.

1.  I am excited and looking forward to going back to school.  Not exactly to go back to 'working', but get back in the classroom.  It's been a really, really rough road in our school for quite a few years.  And last year? Basically, it was to just survive.  But this coming year, we have new hope.  New hope that I think is going to work.  We have a new leader who is one that I've already been impressed with and one who seems to be a real Christian.  One who sees this as our careers, but also sees that we have families, too.

I love teaching.  I really do.  But I think the excessive negativity and frustration throughout the past years had built so deep that I forgot that.  And when I had Harper, I really didn't think I could do it.

But now this summer I've been able to really reflect and getting to know our new leader has helped as well.  Hubby and I have had major, real conversations about this.

*My ultimate goal in my teaching career was to teach at a private Christian school.
That is not my goal anymore. My goal is to continue doing my best in a public school system.  Hopefully, be a light to children who need me and maybe some adults.  I WANT Harper in the public school system.  I want her to be around kids who have more than her.  I want Harper to help be the light to other children.

So now, my goal is to continue teaching in the public school system for now.  I can't tell you where I will be in a few years.  I've learned to not try and plan too far in advance :), but I know that I am so so so excited for this school year.  I'm excited to be a 'school Mom' to 24 different personalities.  I'm excited to be the teacher I know will make myself proud and one that I hope Harper will get the joy of having when it's her turn to go to school.  I'm actually really excited for my 8th year of teaching - something I don't think I've been able to truly say in a few years...

2.  I love Harper. I love the days, the times, the moments we've shared this summer.  I've been so lucky to witness so much.  I've been able to see Harper's personality grow.  We've grown so close together.  She has the best disposition ever.  SO happy all the time.  So sweet and easy going.  Such a joy.  I'm afraid she won't stay that way when I go back to work.  I don't know why I think this.  She'll be at the same home sitter she was at last year.  They love her so much - it's so easy to see.  But there will be new kids there this time around.  Two babies who are younger than Harper.  I'm worried that the babies will get the attention Harper once got from MeMe. I'm worried that Harper is now at the age to understand I'm not with her and that she will be upset.  I'm worried that she will be bored or sad during the day and I won't know.

I'm worried to be without her all day.

But on the other hand, I want to utilize my teaching side, too.

We've already been back to work a lot.  I've already missed a lot of time with Harper due to PD's, getting my room ready, home visits, etc.  While I'm away, I miss her. But I feel peace about it.  I get to continue teaming with Mary, and our whole team is excellent this year.  As of now, it feels that everyone is going to do their part and help each other out.  That helps so much.  It helps knowing I have 2 other teacher-Moms on my team who relate to what I'm going through and can help put things in perspective.  So, I've enjoyed working so far.

But then I feel a little guilty about that.

So what makes a good Mom? I think that's what I struggle with.  Of course, you are a good Mom when you make choices that will better your family.  But am I being a good Mom to go back to work?  Would I be a better Mom if I just stayed home? But then if I stayed home we wouldn't be able to save for Harper's future and wouldn't get to give Harper as many opportunities as she could have.  And maybe I would miss using my teacher side.  There's my struggle.  I think this is probably a struggle that will be a forever-struggle for many Moms.  And I'm just at the beginning.

So, my confusion lies here: I am excited for the school year.  But saying that makes me feel like a bad Mom. I don't want to leave Harper.  Honestly, our days are so easy and fun.  So much less stress than working.  {and couldn't you just punch the people who tell you you are getting a 'break' when you go to work. HA!} But I am happy about getting back in the classroom.

Agh! So confusing!

A few favorites...

I feel really bogged down lately.  There's just so much hate and negativity going on right now.  So much judging, so much intolerance.  It's got me going into a little hole.  A hole where I will pray that Harper never has to feel.  But, unless the second coming comes soon, she's going to have to know about it all or be exposed to some types of this.  So Brian and I made a pact.  We decided that we will not let anything or anyone force negativity and hate while we are around her.  I'm taking a break from FB for a while to just get away from the petty-ness that has come.  I want to show Harper love and joy and thankfulness.  I'm far from perfect, but she's still so innocent.  I have lots of 'wars' going on in my head right now, but instead of writing or talking them all out, I'm going to focus on what I can do.  I'm going to pray for me to show grace, for me to be positive, and for me to continue doing what I need to to keep my daughter safe from this ridiculous hate.


Here's a few pics from the last 2 weeks that make my heart happy...


I'm sure gonna miss all this extra time I've gotten with Harper this summer!

i love him and i love her.

my hair is coming back in ... but BLONDE!

matchy-matchy!

sparkle shoes :)

baby Walker - Nola's brother

loves her baby

loves pulling out all the diapers

sweet little legs

I think it's time...

I put Harper down in her crib for nap.

About 10 minutes later I heard the mobile on.

I didn't turn it on.

Looked in the video monitor, couldn't see her.

Went in.

Harper was sitting up in the corner of her crib. She had somehow turned on the tiny button to the mobile and was batting at her friends dancing around in a circle.

Our little girl is a fan of pulling and climbing - thank goodness she hadn't climbed up and over that rail!

I think it's time to move the mattress down!

Seriously, when did she get so big, so adventurous, and so smart?!

how i found her. so proud of herself!

this tiny button! how did she know to push it up to turn it on???!!! so weird!

***UPDATE***

In the same day....

I put Harper in her pack'n'play. I left her view for maybe a minute. I turned around and saw her STANDING on the edge and looking over. Seriously?!?!?  Ok, it is SO time to move everything down!

My girl just got big overnight! She is just so curious!!

Marriage is Hard{er} With A Kid

There. I said it. I've had this post swarming around in my head but I haven't wanted to post it. For fear of disapproving nods or my thoughts being perceived as something they are not, or for negative comments.
{Warning: Honest Post :) therefore won't be posting to FB}

So if you're in a judging mood, please do not continue to read.

First off, my husband is amazing. He is truly a gift to me. I have never claimed to be an 'easy' girl. I'm half crazy most of the time. He does a lot and puts up with a lot, and I love him. A lot.

But, relationships are work. If someone tells you they aren't, they are lying and probably don't have too good of a relationship/marriage. There. I said it. :)

Obviously, we haven't been married for very many years, but during our first part of marriage it has been pretty easy. We transitioned wonderfully into living together after our wedding. We didn't have any arguments on money, time spent, chores, etc. We pretty much knew where we each stood on hot topics before going into marriage, so things had been pretty smooth!

And then we had Harper. :)  We were lucky enough to have a very positive 'trying to conceive' amount of time.  Of course the old saying that 'a baby fixes everything' is silly. Duh. Who thinks that? But I had no idea. Yes, yes, yes, a baby brings you and your husband very close. Throughout my pregnancy there were many things and instances that only he and I know about - and that's something that we hold dear. The entire birth process {albeit not the greatest experience for me!!} it was just me and him in the room.  There are times we both shake our heads when looking, thinking, or talking about Harper that we just cannot believe we are given the opportunity to have her as our child.

But then that isn't part of my point in this post.

Harper was a colic baby. So she didn't fit the mold of what the books say. We had to do a lot of figuring out on our own so to speak and that was very hard and very terrifying for first time parents.  We were up all through the nights and days because Harper never did {and still doesn't} require as much sleep as one would think a baby or newborn would. Still, at 5 months old, Harper doesn't sleep through the night. So, she gets up on a good night 2-3 times.  We both work. We both hold day jobs that require our full attention and doesn't leave much room for mistakes {me with kids depending on me, him with people relying on money moves}.  So we are exhausted. All the time.

So, sometimes, I let my exhaustion get the best of me. For instance, the chores of the house used to be left all up to me. I didn't mind and I said that was my wifely duty. But I just can't now. I don't have the same time or the same energy as before Harper. I need help. But, you know, boys don't see clean or doing things in a certain time frame as a big deal. 
Sometimes on Brian's turn to get up during the night, Harper will have a good night and only get up once. Man, that makes me so mad! But I turn that into being mad at him. So silly, right? But I do. I think to myself, he only had to get up once...i had to get up 3 times last night... That isn't fair to him.  When dishes are out or wrappers left around the house, I get upset when I find myself picking it up.

I also feel like I put a lot of my energy into Harper. Which I should, of course, but sometimes Brian gets left to the side. We've talked about this and how we both are to blame. We are just so exhausted from working all day and then not sleeping well for so long, we are ready for bed when we put Harper down and usually, we really do go to bed at 8:30! I know, so sad.  And then there's that fear that I have about leaving her still. I don't really want to do things without her. Well, let me rephrase. I do want to, but not enough to actually do it.  We were SO good at weekly date nights when I was on maternity leave. I loved that time I had with Brian and a little bit of a break from my Mommy role. But since I've been back to work, it's hard for me to justify being away from Harper for 40+ hours a week and then choosing to be away from her even more. I know, I'm crazy. Refer to the statement at the beginning of this blog... I know {or at least people say} that it will get easier to leave. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't.

And yes, yes, yes I KNOW that the key to giving Harper a wonderful and happy life depends greatly on Brian and I having a good, healthy, and strong marriage. But, once you are in the midst, it is much harder to do than to say.

.... So then I read this blog post. It came from The Better Mom. It's the only email I get sent to my work account. I get it sent there because I just feel like each day with each post is something that hits home and that I need to take the time to read it. I read it and instantly emailed Brian. I told him I was sorry for doing the chores and home duties in spite instead of joy. {i think he thought i was a tad crazy. normal.} Now, please do not think that my husband never helps. He does a ton. But you know, when you are tired and you see a million things that need to be done, but see one person sitting on the couch - that's when I get upset. But I know he doesn't think of doing those things. And I need to stop.  Sometimes, I think I need to be more like Mary and less like Martha. I've always thought of that Bible story and wondered what all the fuss was about. I mean, who wouldn't want their house to be nice and a nice home-cooked meal made for JESUS for goodness sakes. But, I guess, I'm finally realizing the point. I need to put my energy into people that matter, not things.

So, the point is, I'm going to try harder at working towards finding the joy in daily activities, realizing that I cannot place blame or get upset over such silly things. Of course, it is silly when you truly think about it; but when you are in the moment and you are exhausted with a little precious, adorably happy baby {if you've been there, you might know} its a major struggle, at least for me.

I'll be working hard at making a conscience effort.

our first summer together...

My husband means more to me than I think he knows. When we do have our alone time {date nights} together, it is SUCH a refresher for us. We really need that. Weekly or bi-weekly, we need to get back to that. It's so amazing how one little hour date can truly help us feel closer.


What are ways you Momma's keep the love alive?




{Also, this is a pretty neat site - Marriage Missions. I like this article for new parents. :)}

Cool New Blog

I randomly ran across a really neat blog and had to share with you all!

I've been looking for a while for a few core verses that I want to pray on a daily basis for Harper. I'd love to say that I just opened my Bible and they came to me...but they disn't. So, instead, I went to Google like I do for everything.  I typed in several things I want Harper to learn from an early age on.  These obviously will change many times in her life, but I'm just looking for those core things to pray over her daily like: peace, joy, fullfillment, and beauty through Christ. Oh my, the beauty. It is such a scary time in our world for children, but I just have this worry for girls. Maybe because of the grade I teach and I see the girls are aware of way too many things already and it's just scary.
{you can see the one I made for Harper here. email me if you'd like a copy}

Anyways, while Googling, I came across this blog - When You Rise.

The first post that was on the page was about infertility.  Although this is not something I have dealt with personally, this is something that holds an incredibly large place in my heart. It's something that has weighed on me for several years and something that I'm very sensitive to. I just loved this open and honest post.

Then, I started looking around at older posts and her different pages. It's like I couldn't get enough! This Mom is so honest! She's not one of those horrific make-you-feel-bad-because-you-aren't-perfect Moms, she tells it like it is, all the bad and good, with some pretty good insight to go along with it.

Some awesome ideas about parenting can be found here. She has free printables to help little ones learn the Bible {I love the book she uses, thanks Maegan for getting it for Harper!}, a theme page for Gospels that you could really just run wild with a toddler for learning! I am totally obsessed with her Creation Day unit and will be bookmarking that for when Harper is a toddler to do in the summers. I also love her Teaching Your Child to Pray printables.  A recent post of hers fell right in my lap of what I was feeling that day - the Comparison game.

Anyways, I thought some of my readers may be interested in reading her blog, so go check it out and tell her I sent you! :)

Harper's Verses

So,  I've been looking for a while for a few core verses that I want to pray on a daily basis for Harper.

These will obviously change as she gets older, but for now I felt like I needed something to keep me accountable.  I was looking for key scriptures from the Bible that I want Harper to know throughout her life.

 So, I decided for now to focus on these:
*find peace in Christ
*find hope and comfort in Christ
*find her beauty through Christ
*find joy and happiness through Christ

I compiled my list of about 20 down to just a few that I could honestly say I will be able to read on a daily basis and make a conscious effort to pray each day. I think I'm going to print one off and put on my mirror in the bathroom and place one on my desk or on my plan book at work.  I was telling Brian about it and he loved the idea, so I'm hoping he'll join me in this effort; again, making it a little easier for two slightly crazy parents to focus on something small, yet so big. ;)

Some of these verses almost seemed too mainstream for me, but they were definitely the ones that I kept coming back to when I was focusing on the list of things I wanted to pray for. Maybe that will make it easier to memorize and pray throughout the day??!


If you'd like a copy of this, I'd be happy to email it to you.  I made the photo on Picnik and just printed it on paper at home. You could always print it as a picture or on a canvas - something I'll do in Harper's future when she's old enough to start learning and memorizing her own "life" verses. I pretty much kind of love this idea {hehe}, so if you want a different version or a boy version, send me your scriptures and I'd be glad to make you one. :)