9 Months {for Momma}

Here we are, approaching Harper's 9 month birthday.  It's funny to think I've had her here with me the same amount of time it took to 'cook' her {i know, i know, it's really 10 months...}.

So, how has our lives changed in 9 months?

*Our life is crazy chaotic and perfectly simplified all at the same time.
We once could go and take Harper anywhere at any time and not worry about it. But now that she's older, we are on more of a schedule and have to keep naps and bedtimes on the routine.  As a teacher, I know this is the very best for a child, but I cannot lie and tell you it's easy to become so simplified!

*My Own.
I have my own family. Harper is mine. Brian is a Dad. We, together, are a family.  Brian and I were a family when it was just to 2 of us, but now we are a family of 3.  Decisions and choices are made for the 3 of us first. I love that feeling.  I love the feeling of having Harper as my daughter.  I've actually come to love knowing that *right now*{summer} I'm never alone...I always have her with me.

*It gets easier.
No lie. I thought that first month was the hardest ever. And it was. But it truly gets easier or maybe you just grow into your new normal.  Being a Mom is so hard and so fun all at the same time.  I love how she rewards me each day. I love how I can tell I'm teaching her things and she's learning to be her own person. I love her personality.  It's so weird to see her at this age. She understands things we say and watching her play and learn to be so mobile is so fun.

*Me.
It took me 9 months to gain my weight. I haven't lost all of it, but I am getting to be ok at where I am. However, I cannot fit into several of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  My body is just different now. I have curves that I never had. I actually have boobs for once {ha!} and my hips have widened as a result of a v-birth. You know what? It happens. And I am finally starting to see my body as it's meant to be seen after a child. I carried her to life. I grew her inside of me. So what if I can't wear size 0 anymore. Isn't there more to life than trying to starve myself into being who I 'once was'? I'm not that girl anymore. I'm a woman and a Mommy. One who is proud to have been given the gift of childbirth.  Yes, I'd love to be skinnier and of course I look at other Mom's who are thinner than me, but, at the end of the day, you just have to let it go.  I also have a lot calmer sense about me which is GREAT. I'm sure everyone around me likes that better, too!  I feel like I'm so busy or I spend so much energy on Harper that at the end of the day, I cannot obsess over little trivial things like I used to. I do love that so much!

*MommyWars.
It's so disheartening that this is a real word these days. If I've learned anything in these past 9 months, it's that each Mommy does what she can for her family. Sure, I judged while I was pregnant and before I was pregnant. But I can PROMISE you this, I do not judge now.  Does it get to me when people judge me? Oh yea. But the thing is, we need to support each other because it is honestly the hardest and the most IMPORTANT job in the entire world.  The most hurtful is when people you care about judge you.  It's really hard and I think it's hard on friendships when you feel like you're being judged.  I'm not sure if it's because of everyone always trying to be the best, but I sure hate it!

*Our Days.
I love our summer days together.  I was a little nervous about being home with Harper this summer.  Maternity Leave was kind of hard with her colic, but this time around it's so much fun.  I had planned to get her in some type of Mom's Day Out or little class without me a couple times a week, but I haven't even looked in to it.  I don't actually want to do things without her! My Mom has kept her a few times when I've had to go to work things and that has been great...but I haven't chosen to be away from her for a period of time yet.  I was also hoping that being with her all day every day was going to make me feel like I wanted to get-away with Brian {which I think he was hoping, too} but I haven't! I still don't like leaving her all night. I wish I did, but I just don't yet!
I also feel like we are doing all the fun things we had talked about last summer when I was pregnant and I'm loving it.  I love how easy going Harper is and how much she loves getting out and doing things.  This time right now is just so much fun!

*Our House is a Mess.
And I wouldn't have it any other way! YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT!  We've rearranged, moved things out, and moved things in to make more sense for Harper. I'm SURE I had said before that I wouldn't do that, but my girl is a wild child and I want her to have a "safe" area to play in! I actually look at the toys now and love it because it reminds me of the fun we had during the day.  I do pick them up, just to get them back out again, but it just doesn't bother me like I thought it would!


This 9 months sure has flown by a lot faster than the 9 months I was pregnant! :)