Dear Harper,

{A Satire Letter}

Dear Harper,

The other night your Daddy and I went downtown to Thursday Night Live to enjoy a live band and yummy Goodfella's pizza {you will learn to love this pizza-the-size-of-your-head}.  But we were quickly interrupted by the pure thought of you becoming a teenager and Daddy having to take Xanex on a daily basis.

Now, you may think we are overreacting, but your Daddy is so nervous for a precious little girl! So, here are some guidelines we decided on from the other night's fiasco sitting beside us, my dear.

1. Please do not let boys buy you drinks when you are clearly not a day over 15.
2. You need to wear clothes that go up to your neck. End of discussion.
3. Push-Up bras are not classy. They are trashy.
4. Basements are not allowed.  Daddy just said it. Go with it.
5. Daddy thinks you will never want to go anywhere without him; so whether you invite him or not, he will be right where you are.

:)

Poor Brian. I promised him I was a pretty good girl, and our girl will hopefully be, too! He was SO funny freaking out. I told him he better bulk up and get scary looking before she starts dating. He clearly answered she won't be dating until college.

Oh. My.

But then, we saw some very sweet, cute, and cuddly little girls being held high up in their Daddy's arms and all was restored in him once again. :)