12 Weeks!

I cannot believe Harper Alan is 12 weeks today! Although she's not technically 3 months until the 29th, so I'll wait on her monthly update!  I wanted to remember some more reflections from the past 12 weeks....

Month 1:
It suuuuucked. No, not kidding really.  I mean of course it was blissful and amazing. But it also sucked.

Harper is colic, so before you judge, if you've never experienced a colic baby {especially your first go-around} you have no room to judge!

I'm a teacher. I'm good with kids. So I thought I'd be great with a baby.  We never thought we would have a colic baby because, well, duh, God doesn't give you what you can't handle, right? Wrong. Well, I mean, He obviously wanted us to learn a little something with this! :)  I had a really hard labor and delivery that left my body way out of whack and in constant pain even with pills and I was a little left crazy in the mind, too! I didn't get to see my baby for 4 hours after I delivered her because of her meconium {praise God they knew that before she came out} so that sort of messed with me a little, too.  Anyways, we were going to the doctor every 3-4 days for check-ups with her colic {weight gain} that I was basically doing on my own {B was back to work & Mom was babysitting the boys sometimes}, B and I were taking 2-4 hour shifts of holding her while she screamed inconsolably, and the child never slept.

She still doesn't sleep too much during the day. But she's over the crying. PTL.

So when people like to say, "newborns are so easy, they just eat, sleep, and poop", I laugh. Because Harper did not poop, but she did eat a lot. Hence belly pains. She did not sleep. Ever. But she cried a lot.  And that messes with you.

I honestly thought Harper hated me. Not kidding.  As I said, my mind just wasn't right.  She cried and I couldn't get her to stop.  I read all the papers from the Ped. about colic babies that it's not your fault. But that doesn't mean it doesn't get to you when they cry and cry and cry!

Fast forward to week 4. We started Similac Alimentum and it was a miracle worker.  She was a different baby within 6 feedings.  She was sweet, happy, and DIDN'T CRY! Well, she did. But like a normal baby amount. Brian and I didn't know what to do with ourselves. 

Mommyhood became super enjoyable!

Month 2:
We got out lots, Harper became interacting more, and smiling ALL the time!  We could plan our days and know exactly how to calm Harper down if a crying bit began.  There's nothing like a baby smiling at you, huh?

*********************
I'm not crazy anymore {well not as much:)}.  Harper watches me so much. And I love it.  She keeps her eyes on me and will smile constantly towards me or when she hears me. Seriously, I just love it.  Her little side gummy grin that makes her right eye squeeze in just melts my heart!

Out:
I've had one time where I've had to leave a store because Harper wouldn't calm down. I was sweaty, embarrassed, and downright defeated. Then I remembered it was just Hobby Lobby. I'll survive. :)  For the most part, Harper Alan is an angel out. We take her to eat all the time {it's easier for some reason to eat dinner when we're out}, take her shopping, friend's houses, etc. I love it when people comment about her, but I DO NOT love it when people try to touch her. I'm totally that woman that basically says "back off" in a nice way. :) And I make you use Purell if you think about touching or holding her. Blah. :)

Technology:
I had an older lady tell me we have it so easy with babies now with all the stuff they have to use. Totally true. But let's get one thing straight. There's not too much easiness going on with a baby. We've recently discovered the "White Noise" app. on our smartphones.  Love. Harper is going through a stage that she doesn't love to be in the car. So this helps Mommy's sanity from point A to point B. And C.

Social Butterfly:
Harper is a total girl. She wants attention. A lot of it. And we definitely don't mind giving it to her. But, if she thinks you might be sneaking in watching TV while playing with her, she's over it. And will let you know about it. She loves to look around when we go to new places - hence the no napping thing.  She loves interactions and 'playing back'.  When you smile at her, she instantly smiles back. Love. She's quite 'talkative'.  She coos and gurgles and waits for you to repeat her. It's so cute. There are things she does or ways she acts like that makes me think she's going to have a strong personality. I don't mind that at all. In the hospital, one of the nurses said she had a cry of a 'strong willed child'. My first thought was, "oh great".  But I kind of like it.  I'd rather have a strong willed child than a meek one. Right? Who knows.  As my Ped. stated, it will be better in the long run to have a strong head on her! haha

Sleep:
Girl may not nap very much, but we cannot complain about her night sleeping.  She's awesome. Period. We don't do CIO. I did some research other than Baby Wise and talked with my Ped. We feel that it's ok to rock Harper to sleep. She falls asleep pretty quickly and stays asleep for a good period of time. So for now, we won't be doing CIO. I don't judge you if you do or don't. And I won't say we'll never do it. But for us, we feel like it's better for Harper and for us to just rock her to sleep.
My husband is awesome with this, too. Back up to weeks 1-4, well and 5, 6, 7, 8. Even though he was back to work, he began helping me with the night feedings. He would get her and change her and help her fall back asleep after I nursed. When I had to switch to formula, we began trading off feedings through the night so I could sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.  This was SO beneficial for me and my body to heal.  I suggest any preggo talk about this with your hubs.  Men do not know what all your body and mind have to go through to have a baby and deliver. It takes a serious toll and you have to somehow get time for you to heal and recuperate. And he's the Daddy. He basically got the 'fun part' of making a baby, so he can help with this part. :)

The Books:
Before having Harper, I was dead set on using Baby Wise.  I knew lots of people who used it and their kids sleep great and are very well behaved.  Mainly, my sister uses it and her kids are awesome pretty much all the time.  Well, first of all, this book is not for colic babies. It just stressed me out and made me feel like a HORRIBLE mother.  Second, Harper wasn't doing exactly what the book said she would do and I was being crazy about doing everything it said down to the minute. So we quit it except for the eat, play, sleep part. But we made our own rules on that part, too.  Someone told me "Harper hasn't read the book, think about that." It took me a while to get, but I got it.  I have been so worried from day 1 about Harper being a happy baby.  I used to cry along with her in the beginning telling her, "you have parents who love you so much, we want you to be happy" {I told you, I'm crazy}. But I realized that a book won't necessarily make your baby happy. I will.  With a schedule, love, etc. {thank you sister for making me realize that}. So I use bits and pieces from things I've read, but really, we just do what we think is right and move on.  BTW: Harper's a super happy baby and sleeps great.

Dates and Mom:
My Mom has been so amazing with me. She's spent a lot of her time with us. I know I've said before how she's stayed here and helped through night feedings and lets Brian and I have date nights. She's listened {and still does} when I don't know what to do with Harper or just need a shower! {which btw, I totally get one each day with Harper in the bathroom with me! such a major accomplishment! haha} I just don't know how you have a baby with no family around. You are way more awesome than me if so! The colic papers from the Ped. said that we needed to ask for help and accept help to get through it. I'm not good at asking for help, but I started definitely accepting help after the 2 week mark. Mom didn't even judge me and just came. Day after day. :)
Date nights have also become more fun! ha! At first we felt so weird leaving her, but now we are more comfortable.  Of course we talk about Harper on dates. If you don't, I think that's weird. You know, the rule where you don't talk about the kids? Why not! They are a huge part of your life now! So yes, we talk about her, but we also just talk about other things normally. We both have agreed that it's important for Harper to have a happy and healthy marriage from her parents.  So that's what we're committed to. Having a baby isn't easy, it's a lot of hard work and it does change your relationship with your hubs.  But, it's just a new way of working on your marriage.  Just like a baby, a marriage is work too, and you can't forget that.

Friends:
I read an older post from my blog the other day. I was so worried our friendships would be different once baby came.  We are super social people and love to be busy and on the go.  Although we've slowed down, our friends have still made tons of efforts to make accommodations to let us bring Harper along. We've still had tons of fun with them and it really hasn't changed that much! I'm just so ready for my life group girls to get preggo! haha :) With Harper being pretty good about going out to eat, we've been able to do lots of dinner dates with them!

Anyways, if you made it through this whole post...kudos to you! HAHA. Sorry it was so boring, but obviously, I wanted to remember this time! :)