When I Fell In Love

Dear Harper,

I vividly remember the day I fell head-over-heels in love with you. 

Although I loved you more than anything while you were growing in my belly; it was a different kind of love.  I loved you while you were there, but I did not know you. I didn't know what you would look like. I didn't know how you would act. I don't think I could physically and emotionally understand the love I would feel for you.

The moment you were born, that love that I had felt for 9 months changed.  I loved you little baby.  I was in total amazement at you and still haven't figured out how something so beautiful and sweet could be formed inside me.  But Mommy was in a lot of pain so I couldn't enjoy all of you. Through the first month of 'getting to know you' and learning to be a Mommy, I loved you. I mean, you were mine. All mine.  And I loved every piece of you. More than I felt I could.

But the day I fell totally head over heels-no going back-no greater feeling than this was the day you turned one month old. 

I was taking your picture and trying to get you to smile as you had shown us several times before. You belted out this HUGE laugh and smile that completely covered your entire face.  I thought my heart might burst out of my chest.  I remember catching my breath and getting light on the knees.  I remember kneeling down beside the rocking chair you were in and thinking, oh my gosh I cannot believe this feeling.  Because like I said, I thought I had loved you when I was pregnant; I thought I had loved you when you were first born.  But the feeling of seeing you interact with me. So happy. So trusting. So loved. That's when I felt my heart had no more room in it...it was going to burst! That was the true moment that I fell so hard in love with you that I truly never dreamed possible. 

Personally I don't think I ever would have imagined loving someone like I love you. I love your Daddy, but not like this. I love your GG and GDaddy, but not like this. I love your cuzzies and your auntie, but not like this.

Sweet Harper, I love you more than you will quite possibly ever know.

*and I just happened to get a photo of this moment...

The verse to the right of my blog; I added that the day we decided to begin the journey. I kept it on my blog because sometimes I wasn't too sure if it would happen. But He knows all in His timing.


Dear little Harper, you bring us so much joy each day. My heart is so filled with you. Thank you for letting us be your parents.

Love you peas,
Mommy