Mommy has too much fun with her camera.

I'm no professional by any means, but I shoot enough pictures of Harper to think I am! ha!

Here's too many some pretty precious pictures of my little love that I've taken over the past 2 weeks with my Christmas present from B {Nikon D3000}.  Love, Love, Love her!!!

I survived. Barely.

Monday was rough. But I made it. 
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It's Thursday now, and I sat down to write this post through the week, starting with Monday. I had to quit though, because I couldn't see through my tears once Harper was asleep.

I've been mentally jotting down things this week about how pretty much horrible it's been. How I've cried more than I thought I could. How I've seen Brian and I both hurting.

But, today, I feel peace.

Today I feel such a peace. My heart is peaceful.  My swollen face is going down. I only cried a bit this morning.

So, instead of telling you the obvious, the part where pretty much every mother goes through when her maternity leave is up, I'm going to focus on the positive things from this week.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude today. I feel like God has been holding me up each day this week.  I saw the sun today and felt good inside. My baby is so precious to me, and I think I've found a sitter who understands that. You can tell she loves her few kids she keeps.  And I can tell she just loves Harper already.  God has overly blessed me.  Harper is SUCH a good baby.  She's been amazing at the transition this week.  She's been happy and sweet.  When I'm at work, I've felt each day get better, and honestly, I've enjoyed being back in the classroom.  I NEVER thought I'd say that after 3 whole months home with Harper. But I have enjoyed teaching, planning, and being with the kids. I praise God for that. I praise Him for reminding me that I'm good at my job and that my j-o-b is my career and I'm there for a reason.  I also praise Him for putting the friends at work in my life.  The warmth and support I've felt this week at work is amazing. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me to have emails and visits from teachers that I don't even get to work with stop in and check on me. One teacher has come in my room each day and offered to grade papers so that I can leave right at 3.  My close friends at work have brought me cokes and breakfast this week.  And my teammate. Oh, my. I am beyond blessed to have her with me right now. I'm truly honest when I say that without her I probably would not have gotten through day 1.  She's been there. She knows.  She's hugged me, checked on me, and given me so very much support. I know, I am lucky.  I'm lucky that my "secret pal" at work has been giving me the exact strength through Bible verses that I've needed. He has no idea how many times I've read and re-read those lines.  I'm thankful my friends have texted and called to check on me.  The ones who've been through it and the ones that haven't; they've still supported me.  I'm thankful for my husband.  I'm thankful he understands that Harper and I have a different bond, and as crazy as I've felt this week, he's told me it's ok.

I've been praying for many months now; before Harper even arrived, that God would let me feel it was okay to not stay at home. It's been very difficult. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. And although my husband and I haven't made the final decision of what is right for our family in terms of me working, I'm thankful I feel a much better peace about being away right now and that in my career I get more time off than a lot of jobs do.

A few specific things I'd like to pray on are:
*to not feel like I'm an inadequate mother if I need to continue working
*to have strength and be content even when other women make me feel badly about not staying home
*to be able to give my students 100% of me while I'm at work
*to keep Faith that I am still a good Mom and giving Harper the love and attention she deserves

So while I know each day will be so hard, and I know it will never be easy, I'm hoping to just make it each day and do the best I can while I'm at work and remember what really matters in life.

I took off Friday to go to an appointment.  I think I really needed this day after 3 straight months with Harper, and being away from her more than I've ever been in her little life.  The thing I've missed the most is our morning time when she's quite possibly the sweetest ever. So I'm relishing in today... and remembering how lucky I am to get the time off I will have with Harper.  I may not be financially rich with this job, but the time I'm able to have makes me feel rich inside.

Resolutions 2012

So, if you've been following for a few years, you know I don't do resolutions, I do goals. :)

Here's a list of my goals from last year and in red is whether I met them or not. Check HERE. 
I LOVED my Goals list last year because I wrote them from different Bible verses which sort of helped me keep them a little better.

Well, as most of you guessed, my :) one was to hopefully get pregnant in 2011. Brian and I toasted on New Years night and kissed - we both whispered to one another we hope we can get pregnant this year. Little did we know it had already happened! I'm not going to do a year in review because, well, the birth of Harper trumped everything this year! haha!

2011 was a wonderful, wonderful year for my family.  We stayed healthy and had the birth of our daughter.  But for a few of my friends, 2011 was a really, really hard year.

So, in 2012 here's my prayers....
I pray a certain friend of mine is given her desire to become pregnant and have a baby.
I pray my family can stay healthy.
I pray for my small group and we will continue to do life together.
I pray I continue to be thankful for my life and show that to Harper.
I pray I make time and make sure Brian knows how much I value him and our marriage.
I pray for a content and peaceful heart as I transition into a working Momma.

Of course I want to make a resolution to lose more of the baby weight, but being realistic, I am just not going to be away from Harper even more by going to the gym.  I just got to buy a size smaller in jeans than what I was wearing, and I'm pretty happy with that! If I can stay in this size, I will be satisfied! I'm aware that I will probably never be the size I was, and it's ok! :)  I'm going to do what I can in my home to keep working on the weight!

I also wanted to say how thankful I am for this blog! Sounds so silly, right? I started it years ago to follow our engagement and building our first home and letting family read about it.  This blog has turned into so much more for me! I love looking back at my journaling and seeing where I've been or what I've learned.  I've also loved the 'friends' I've met through blogging. Your comments mean so very much to me - probably more than you know! I appreciate you taking the time to read about our life! 

Happy and Healthy New Years to YOU!

3 whole months old!

My oh my, where has this time gone? I knew getting to 3 months would be a big one.  I was told the baby changes so dramatically at this age and I also knew it meant my maternity leave would be over.  I just cannot believe it's here!

My little newborn is now considered an infant! Instead of being a little sad, I'm going to try and think about how grateful I am Harper is growing so well! 

We are so lucky that Harper is such a sweet and happy baby.  We just pinch ourselves wondering how we got so lucky!

Harper turned 3 Months Old on December 29th, 2011.

Nicknames: Harpie, Sweet Peaser {B}, baby girl, Harps, Pretty Girl

Weight: We don't get a monthly visit this month, so here's our guess... 12lbs

Eye/Hair: her eyes are still dark blue, her hair has gotten very light! a light brown and it's falling out!

Diapers: Size 1, Pampers Swaddlers and Pampers Nighttime diapers at night

Clothes: wearing 0-3mon. and some 3-6 mon. clothes, totally outgrown NB! It was a sad day putting those away!

Bath: She takes a bath every other night unless she's had a spit-up or blow-out :)

Eating: formula (colic symptoms are pretty much gone, knock on wood), 5 oz. every 3 hours, except night.We feed her before bed and when she awakes in the morning. She'll let you know right when it's time to eat! 

Sleep: We still swaddle her and she sleeps about 9-10 hours in her Rock and Play Sleeper bassinet in her room. She does so well, we don't really want to change it up with putting her in her crib yet, ha!  She still won't nap for long unless being held.  She'll nap in her vibrating chair for about 30-45 min. then wake up. She doesn't always stay asleep for her naps because she just likes to be awake more!

Schedule: We follow eat, play, sleep.  For the most part, I don't ever 'make' her fall asleep.  I can tell when she's tired and when she's not. Harper has never ever been one to require a lot of sleep. So, she doesn't always take 2 hour naps all day long like most babies her age. She'll sleep some each rotation but not always the same amount. But as long as she continues to be content and happy, I'm ok with it! So, after she eats, we play for about 1-2 hours, and then she'll sleep until the next bottle.

Playtime: Man oh man is it fun now! She just LOVES smiling and watching me wherever I go! She keeps her little eyes glued to me! She loves to reach and grab her toys on her playgym. She also likes to grab at little taggie blankets as well as this little blinking worm toy she got for Christmas.  Harper also likes the Bumbo! She also loves to listen and look at books! She coos, gurgles, and 'talks back' a lot now! She's totally got Brian and I wrapped around her cute little finger! :)  It is just incredible how alert and aware she became overnight!

New Things: Besides some of the stuff I added in playtime, she super strong! She is always wanting to push off and stand on you. Her head basically needs no more support and she kicks non-stop!  She's found her feet and loves them as well as sucking on her hands constantly!
We actually celebrated this month by just snuggling up with our little family of 3 and pizza! We've been with lots of family, so it was nice to just snuggle her!

Christmas with Grammy & Pops

Last post about Christmas :)

Harper's Grammy & Pops came in from HHI this year to celebrate Christmas with us! We usually go there, but decided it was best to not travel just yet with Harper.

We had a great week with them here! They spoiled Harper with gifts and lots of attention! They also let me use them for many pictures with my new camera!

Here's our week in pictures...

Christmas Day and Happy Birthday Jesus!

Precious baby was overwhelmed by fun on Christmas Eve, so she slept until 8:30 am! Mommy was up way earlier with anticipation of the fun to be had! So, I went ahead and put in the Breakfast Souffle and Tator Tot Casserole, staged Santa, and got the new camera and video camera ready! Brian fed her and then we videotaped her coming down the stairs! It was so fun. I know she doesn't really have a clue about what's going on this year, but it was still so much fun opening her gifts with her and talking about Santa and the reindeer! :) Can you imagine next year?! Oh man, because this year was just so amazingly fun.

So, Santa brought Harper this awesome Ladybug Rockabye Rocker. LOVE IT. She does too. And although it's a little old for her, she smiles when on it and loves the songs it plays.  She can even sit on it on her own {with is right there of course}. He also got her a Leapfrog learning table to be used in a few months!

Then we enjoyed opening the rest of her gifts.  It's so fun to spoil!

Once we were done, it was time for her nap, so we ate breakfast and opened some of our gifts and our stockings to one another. So much fun! Once she awoke, she got her stocking! I love each special thing in there!
{custom bottle/etc. labels for the sitter, book labels, bottle bib, tights}

Then we 3 hung out while people came to us! Oh, it was nice to relax! GG and Gdaddy stopped by to see what Santa had gotten Harper, then Brian's Dad and step-Mom came over, and then his Mom and step-Dad came and are staying in from HHI with us this week! So, once again Harper got way spoiled!! :)

Later Christmas night we held our {newly} annual Happy Birthday Jesus party! I have 2 books we'll read first and then we ate Butterfinger Pie! Oh man, it was delish!! I'm hoping to find the Little People Nativity set at an after Christmas sale! :)

Merry Christmas! Hope you had a wonderful day with family.  The best present this season has been our precious little Harper and having Daddy home for a few days with us.

Pure Bliss.

PS- favorite gifts - these recordable books from Hallmark. Mom and Dad gave her one and it is SO cute. and they recorded the Baby Blessings book we gave them to tell them we were preggers and I teared up. so sweet and special!!